What is Stalking? - Definition, Motivations, & Prevention

OVERVIEW

Throughout the years, stalking has become more prevalent and an unfortunately dismissed offense. For as long as media has existed, the romanticization of chasing and persisting after another person, usually for the sake of romance, has been a genre that seems to encourage stalkers and other offenders to engage in or continue to pursue criminal activity. However, the reality is that this persisting causes extreme mental distress and paranoia to the one being stalked. In many cases, something as simple as a dissolving relationship or a previously innocent admiration for a media personality can turn into a real-life horror story.

We understand that the following content may be sensitive for some readers. Please keep this in mind as you proceed. If you or a loved one is being stalked or harassed, please confide in someone you can trust or contact a hotline such as;

National Sexual Assault Hotline - 800.656.HOPE (4673)

National Domestic Violence Hotline - 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788

National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - 988

WHAT IS STALKING

Stalking, by definition, is the act of intentionally and persistently showcasing intruding behaviors towards another person more than once, typically leading to extreme mental distress on the victim’s behalf. Many stalkers also showcase different types of intrusive behaviors other than following another person, such as repetitive calling, asking for information about the victim from family members and friends, memorizing their schedule in order to track them, attempting to meet with them in public, and other behaviors that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear (Mullen et al., 1999).

It is frequently noted that stalking is directed towards one particular person at a time who is the object of the stalker’s attention. Along with this, stalking is differentiated from other offenses due to it being categorized as a pattern of behavior. This means it is not a single incident but instead a series of offenses (Stalking - Victim Connect Resource Center, 2021). Unlike how the media portrays stalking, on most occasions, stalking elevates and turns into violence. Additionally, if done to more than one person, it is more likely that another offense is involved. This can include murder, human trafficking, rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, and other offenses of the like.

It has been noted that several stalkers are socially inept or feel as though they cannot directly build a relationship with the person they are stalking. However, it is even more common for stalkers to be previously acquainted with the person being stalked, such as an ex-lover, current lover, family member, or even someone whom they have only talked to casually very few times (i.e., coworker, customer-service employees, customers, etc.). On most occasions, a stalker wants to communicate with the one they are stalking. Nowadays, it is most common for a stalker to attempt to make contact via repeated text messaging, calling, e-mails, and other internet-based methods of communication. In order to maintain this contact, a study shows that the majority of stalkers would make repeated public attempts to approach the person they are stalking. In contrast, others persistently follow and watch the victim (Mullen et al., 1999).

MOTIVATIONS

Before we discuss anything, we should mention that stalking does not have to be the primary offense, as mentioned above. In many cases, stalking is used as the preparation for a separate offense, meaning that there can be hundreds of motivations for this pattern of behavior. It should be noted that although stalking is typically portrayed as an obsessive lover pursuing a love interest, and while that can definitely be a motivation, in real life, stalking is typically used as a fear tactic.

Based on a study published in 1999 by P. E. Mullen, M. Pathé, R. Purcell, and G. W. Stuart that was “devised to elucidate the behaviors, motivations, and psychopathology of stalkers,” the following motivations were concluded from the 145 stalkers interviewed:

Rejected - A common trigger for many offenses is rejection. In the case of stalking, the rejection-motivated offender is not limited to romantic pursuit. To name a few, a dissolving friendship or a professional rejection could trigger these stalkers to begin harassing the ones they feel wronged them. In fact, the majority of these stalkers feel as though they want to both enact revenge and reconcile with the person(s) they feel hurt or wronged them. According to the study, these stalkers felt several intense emotions after their initial trigger, such as anger, jealousy, frustration, and even sadness (Mullen et al., 1999).

Intimacy-seeking - The majority of these types of stalkers have a delusional fantasy that the object of their attention is their “true love” or other fantasies that include the person being stalked being destined to be with the stalker. Intimacy-seeking stalkers have been noted as falsely believing their love is reciprocated and that their intrusive behaviors were justified. The study also stated that the majority of these stalkers inappropriately believed their disturbing behaviors would lead to establishing a romantic relationship with the person they were stalking. This infatuation can eventually progress into violence due to the unwarranted feelings of jealousy and anger the stalker feels if their feelings are not reciprocated (Mullen et al., 1999).

Incompetent - Unlike the intimacy-seeking stalkers discussed above, these stalkers are aware that their infatuation is not reciprocated. However, they believe that if they persist with their intrusive and inappropriate behaviors, their affection may be reciprocated after all. The study stated that the majority of these stalkers are socially inept and are unaware of how to build a relationship with another person appropriately. However, the study also revealed that the stalkers had a sense of entitlement and were utterly reluctant to establish a relationship in any other way a reasonable person would. These stalkers also differ from intimacy-seeking stalkers in the sense that they were “attracted but not infatuated” with the object of their unwanted attention (Mullen et al., 1999).

Resentful - Resentful stalkers differ from many of the other motivations discussed in the sense that their main intention is to instill feelings of fear and to purposely cause extreme mental distress toward the person they are stalking. The majority of these stalkers are motivated by feelings of hostility or a personal vendetta. However, some choose others to project their feelings of resentment upon at random (Mullen et al., 1999).

Predatory - These types of stalkers are looking to enact a separate offense and are using stalking as either a tactic to instill even more fear or to prepare for said separate offense. Predatory stalkers enjoy the feelings of power they experience when doing so. It is worth mentioning that sexual assault and rape are the predominant separate offense. However, this type of stalker could also be looking to murder, kidnap, or attack the victim in a different way. The study mentions that predatory stalkers also use stalking as a way to get to know the person they are stalking before they attack them. This could mean getting to know their schedule or “rehearsing” their fantasy before assaulting them (Mullen et al., 1999).

As with every offense, stalkers can have a variety of motivations not discussed here. Along with this, some stalkers may have a combination of motivations, making it much harder to apprehend and understand them. Even though many stalkers resort to violence, keep in mind that even if they do not resort to more dramatic measures, they can cause extreme distress in both the lives of the people they stalk and their own.

PRECAUTIONS

While you cannot prevent the actions of other people, there are quite a few precautions you can take to try and keep yourself as safe as you possibly can from situations in which you may encounter those with ill intentions. Though this is a given, we should address beforehand how important it is to keep your personal information private from those you were not previously acquainted with, both online and offline.

Notify others, especially local authorities. While it may not, unfortunately, be immediately investigated, it is a good idea to have a report already filed. Never believe your safety to be unimportant enough not to file a report, even if you are met with negativity or hostility from others for doing so. It is always advised to inform someone else that you feel you are in danger. Additionally, make detailed reports about your experiences, especially if you are being harassed online. This includes every detail you can remember, such as if others were present, location, time, description of the offender, words spoken, etc. (The Prevention of Stalking, 2022).

Take legal action. If you are capable of doing so, take legal action against the stalker. Always remember, you know the situation best. An option you have is filing for a protection order, which makes it illegal for the stalker to interact with you. If the protection order is ignored, the stalker can be arrested, tried in court, and incarcerated (The Prevention of Stalking, 2022).

Trust your instincts. While this is a commonly given piece of advice, many seem to need to pay more attention to their gut feelings. You need to trust that feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up or that sudden feeling in your stomach that something is wrong. When you are in a situation you feel is not right, take appropriate actions to leave. If you ever feel you need to leave or call someone to pick you up, do so. It would also be wise to take precautionary measures when you know you are being stalked or harassed. This could include changing locks, keeping your phone with you at all times if applicable, avoiding walking alone at night, and other measures that keep you from being in situations where you are vulnerable.

Have an emergency plan. You could develop a plan to keep yourself as safe as possible in case of any encounters with the person stalking you. This could involve having someone to call if you are ever in a situation where you feel unsafe, whether it be a loved one or a professional who can guide you through your situation, such as a 911 operator. If you’re unable to call someone directly, it is best to already have a place in mind beforehand that you can go to immediately if you are in an unsafe situation. If you are traveling to a location you have never been to, you could try to know the area as best as you can beforehand.

CONCLUSION

Stalkers have a variety of motivations and triggers. From trying to regain control of their lives to exerting unwanted behaviors over unsuspecting people, all stalkers have one thing in common. The damage they cause. Even though it is uncommon for stalkers to enact physical violence, the damage they do to a person’s emotional and mental well-being may take years to recover. The fear and distress experienced while being stalked is one that may be impossible to get rid of, even if the situation is in the past.

REFERENCES

Definition & FAQ | Stalking Awareness & Prevention | SPARC. (2023, April 28). Stalking Awareness. https://www.stalkingawareness.org/definition-faqs/#1537978411844-584a1da9-69a8

Miller, L. J. (2012). Stalking: Patterns, motives, and intervention strategies. 17(6), 495–506. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2012.07.001

Mullen, P. E., Pathé, M., Purcell, R., & Stuart, G. W. (1999). Study of Stalkers. 156(8), 1244–1249. https://doi.org/10.1176/ajp.156.8.1244

The Prevention of Stalking. (2022). Uca.edu. https://uca.edu/police/crime-prevention/the-prevention-of-stalking/

Stalking - Victim Connect Resource Center. (2021, March 22). Victim Connect Resource Center. https://victimconnect.org/learn/types-of-crime/stalking/ ‌